


A Harbor in Flame-Flower

by darktreesbigvoices



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Dream Sequence, Ethan is Bi, F/M, Inner battles, M/M, i just watched eyes wide shut, quotes from lolita, surreal as hell, written as a screenplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26903140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktreesbigvoices/pseuds/darktreesbigvoices
Summary: Ethan contemplates his relationship with Benji, and visa versa.
Relationships: Benji Dunn & Ethan Hunt, Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Kudos: 3





	A Harbor in Flame-Flower

**Author's Note:**

> The beautiful woman looks like Nicole Kidman, and she represents all the woman Ethan has ever slept with. I just thought it sounded...right for some reason. I have always been fascinated by the bridge between reality and fiction in terms of movie characters and the actors that play them (Ethan Hunt seeing his metaphorical "the ones that got away" as Tom Cruise's ex wife, for instance).

> ETHAN _stands in the hallway, straight-backed against the wall, arms crossed languidly._
> 
> ETHAN, _as an aside_ : Some people say that the…ability to commit utterly to someone is a virtue. I am burdened with that virtue. I have tried on a million different masks in a mirror, some of them terrifying, only to be forced to keep changing them for different people for the rest of my life. I am never myself, with anyone. I can’t be. I have been changing masks for too long. Sometimes I wish it was another way. _He turns his head._

_A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN walks slowly, naked except for diamond studded heels, around the corner. She watches him archly from the end of the hallway._

> ETHAN _moving his lips, almost silent_ : Can you see her? “Pearl and umber, with infinity soft partings.” More like honey and blood. She is my weakness, she, not anyone else. If brutal murder was my love language, I would behead her. I can be myself with her. Women in general…

* * *

_BENJI, on the other side of the wall, is sitting in the bathtub, splashing and getting water everywhere as he washes._

> _BENJI, hurriedly_ : Some people way that I’M the care-giver in this relationship. Fuck, I get just as many bruises and cuts as he does now that I’m working in the field, he’s just so reckless that his bruises and cuts are life- threatening. _Benji scrubs the heel of his foot with the heel of his opposite hand, sighing._ I love him, yeh. Pining and all. For a while it looked like I was just going to..I dunno…live on my own forever with some dogs or something. Maybe move back to England. I’ve tried dating women, and I’ve tried fucking women, whole nine yards. Nothing really stuck until I met him. It was like my whole world opened up. Obviously he’s not gay, y’know. We muck around, play around like we’re “life partners”, cuddle in bed, occasionally fuck. It’s great when we do…but…I know the guy. He might pretend to like fucking guys, but I can tell he loves women. Or one specific women. Julia. And that’s just kind of a lost cause. I guess that’s why he stays with me. But he’s such a fucking puzzle, I don’t know half the fuckin’ time! He’s constantly contradicting himself, _constantly_. It’s like he can’t get his fucking character straight, can’t decide who he wants to be with me. Is it Sexy Fun Times Ethan? Is it Lonely Sulky Ethan? Is he going to cry or kiss me, y’know? What the hell—sometimes I just wanna fuckin’ end it all with him but I can’t. I dunno. I don’t think he even knows. _BENJI reaches out with his hand and comforts ETHAN, who is younger now and leans, bleeding heavily, by the tub_ : I never said I didn’t want to not take care of him. We’re all just kids inside, aren’t we? _As an aside to ETHAN, stroking his hair, lighting his cigarette with a match._ It’s alright, love. We’re good, aren’t we? We balance each other out like live wiring, always sparking and needing duct tape all the time. It’s ok, lovey. We’re ok. Everyone needs some comforting sometimes. Milky tea. Sheets in the washer. Toast. Chet Baker. Fuckin’ t _eddy bears_. _Band-aids_. It’s like therapy, innit? Like screaming into those big pillows. Let someone else worry this time because your shoulders are hurting from carrying all that weight.

* * *

_A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN stands before ETHAN. She is much taller then him in heels. She takes his hand and brings it to her lips. ETHAN watches with detached passion. They start to dance, slowly, moving along the cramped hallway. They dance professionally, a waltz. The camera spins counter to their motions._

> _A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, her lips pursed_ : Eros. Agape.
> 
> _ETHAN, tilting his head_ : Exactly. But the Greeks did not know everything.
> 
> _A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, tasting the words spitefully_ : And you would know because you know everything.
> 
> _ETHAN, from between his teeth, check his anger_ : I never said that.
> 
> _A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, pauses, gazing into ETHAN’S eyes with an expression of frustration and enchantment_ : Tell me, then.
> 
> _ETHAN, as if starting a speech_ : Pragma. The opposite of Eros. Endure and ye shall find that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, in fact it is the same. fucking. grass. It is love as wine. It’s been aged. That is my love with Benji. With Julia it was a cocktail of everything the Greeks could think up. It was bordering on manic, it was so real.
> 
> _A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, again with spite_ : And you thrive on mania? On attention? On sex? You are only a man, but I am only you and I know that you think sex is the answer to all of your problems because you are a _man_.
> 
> _ETHAN, calm_ : And you are a women.
> 
> _A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN_ : I never said that I wasn’t.
> 
> _ETHAN, calm but tired_ : You are the essence of high society, aren’t you. You tell me how to live. You tell _me_. You are a spoiled little girl who knows nothing.
> 
> _A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, pouting_ : How can you be so mean to me? I thought that we were in love. _Coldly, more like a grown woman._ But you could never be straight with me. You could never take off your mask. That is why she left you, why I will never be fully realized. That is why this is all just—
> 
> _ETHAN, mockingly, and for a moment he is another person entirely_ : “And love is never just a dream” yes, I know, I know, I know.

END SCENE.


End file.
